sunday morning, rain is falling.

i always feel thin sunday mornings. not sure. although right now i just feel sick.

think i may have broken my thumb. that sounds silly. but it's the part where it's really just hand. but it still is part of the thumb. sort of. that sounds..stupid. whatever. it hurts. although i can type..? wrapped it up to immobilize it and i can move the other fingers so it doesnt really hurt too much. got the day off work (i carry trays on my left hand, didn't see how it would work) but i need a doctors note now. and uhs (university health services, free) is closed sunday of course. and dont really feel like explaining to mum and dad. so i suppose i shall wait until tomorrow. oh, and as for how, i fell down this spiral staircase last night and i'm assuming that would be the cause. oh my it hurts.

more i think about it, the less i think it's actually broken. cute boy i met at breakfast said i probably sprained the ligaments. fair guess.

just realized i basically use this blog instead of my personal one, rather than in addition to. if you're curious about my life outside of trying to be thin, head over to bipolarintricacies.blogspot.com and check it out. they're under seperate blogger accounts so that my friends don't see this. though no one really reads that one either. so no worries. i suppose.

shopping yesterday was fun, got a dress and a skirt and some tops...yes, it made me depressed that i need mediums not smalls in abercrombie these days. but it's motivation. and yes, i was horribly bloated and felt and looked like a fat cow, but it's also motivation. yes, i ate lunch. but just a salad. i figured walking all the way around the mall burned a fair number of calories. then came back adn went to potbelly's. looked it up online, figured id let myself have my beloved mushroom melt for 380cal. but then i had sunchips, too. 200cal. why? not a clue. and i was still starving after. i felt so empty. ended up going for froyo later. apparently the ex's best friend works there. pretty sure she recognized me. awk.
anywho, so i of course had no self control and piled chocolate chips and reeses on my delicious yogurt. and some strawberries and pineapple. but still. blech. no self control. then tried and failed to get any work done. had a bad charlie horse all day so couldnt work out. watched the hockey game. was upset i wasnt there. ex was. may be going tonight with him. not sure. prob bad idea.

so then i ended up going out. didnt intend to drink much. drank so much. blah. fuck me. went to pancheros. got a chicken quesadilla. i remember that much. so drunk.

this morning had toast and eggs. bit of hash browns. bit of cheese. bit of turkey. and two chocolate chip cookies. that's disgusting.

going back to bed then to the library.

ps- i have followers? :)