blizzard.

a small reese's blizzard from dairy queen is 530cals. did you know that? i didn't. utnil i ate the whole thing. then looked it up later.

today started off so well. good workout, not much food, saw the bf...though he was acting weird, walked my dog with him,then ate a super small bowl of granola/cheerios with some blueberries, then just chilled for a bit. then, mum gets home and announces that dairy queen opened today. so of course bf wants to go. and i can't say no because he doesn't think i'm eating and mum's suspicious. so i go. and it was delish. told myself i didn't have to finish it..but i did.

dinner was a spinach/black bean/mushroom/bell pepper enchilada thing that mum makes every so often. i know the white flour tortilla isn't all that good for you so i left probably a third of it. but ate some of it for carbs. unneccessary but it was good. had a tiny bit of reduced fat sour cream and some salsa and cucumber with it. yum. and a mug of green tea.

then, decided i wanted to bake cookies. so i did. and nibbled on chocolate chips the whole time, of course, then ate one of the cookies, which turned out MASSIVE. even the second batch which i tried to make smaller, still turned out huge.

i feel like my legs and stomach have turned to pure fat. sticky and jiggly and horrible. because of that blizzard. i don't want to even look at the fat content of that thing. honestly thinking about it makes me feel sick. guess i'll just chug water for a bit then go to bed. then wake up and aim for 600+ at the gym tomorrow.

i was feeling good about myself before that FUCKING blizzard. so disgusting. i hate myself for it now. loathe myself, every essence of my weak-minded, fat-bodied self. OH, and i watched celebrity fit club earlier. one girl on it weighs LESS than me. what the FUCK.