aqua.

i want a barbie. i never played with barbie or any kind of dolls when i was little. and now i want one-- to remind me of how thin i should be, and of how fat i am.

today was another failure. i need to stop this. i didn't get out of bed 'til one since i didn't go to bed 'til 5am. then had my gummy vitamins, a fage greek yogurt with blueberries, and one of those goddamn blondie things i made. which i decided i really don't like all that much.
[i wanna try making them again, with half the flour and maybe throw in some cinnamon. goddamn, now i'm craving cinnamon. in the morning, in the morning. maybe if i get up and have a good workout i'll treat myself to a skinny latte. nah, i won't. but i'll have some coffee with cinnamon.]
anyway, also had a cup of that yogi green tea that *supposedly* suppresses appetite. not sure if it did shit, but there we go. then...what else? i sat around, caught up on last night's LOST, then found something else to watch. half-heartedly did some orgo studying. thenn, had a teeny tiny slice of hawaiian pizza that i made last night. it was delicious, so whatever. i fucking love pineapple. so so much. and it was like, a fifth of a 7" pizza. so pretty small. and it had ham and pineapple. both relatively healthy. minimal preservatives. thenn, i had a tiny sliver of mushroom pizza, also that i made, also from last night. still not good though. and a cracker. then for dinner i made an omelette. supposedly egg whites, but one yolk broke and i was too lazy to fish it all out. thenn put some spinach mushrooms tomatoes and a bit of cheese in it. it was deliciousss also. i figure veg and protein..okay-ish. thenn had a piece of bread though :( bah.

thinking about it..that wasn't too much. before dinner i did a halfassed 5min biking and 5min elliptical. haha. boosted my metabolism a tiny bit, at least. thenn when i got back from finally seeing the bf, i had two spoonfuls of ice cream and a bowl of mixed granola and cheerios with some blueberries. well, and a nibble of one of those cakey icky blondies i made. i'm actually pissed as fuck that they turned out so shitty. go look at how good they look here.

anywho. too lazy to add up calories. plus i feel guilty for not working out. oh, last night at work had some milky coffee drink thing. and half a slice of pepperoni pizza. i picked out most of the pepperoni though. bah.

tomorrow will be a better day. tomorrow i will work out and burn a minimum of 500 calories. ABSOLUTE MINIMUM.