fear.

right now i'm afraid to plan. afraid to tell myself how much i will eat. because i'm afraid i'll just fail.
i have class straight from 11-15 so i usually eat after or take a granola bar with me. which do i do? i don't know. neither? but then i'll binge at dinner..unless i skip dinner too? don't be silly, you've been binging so much lately you know you can't fast today. it just won't work.
okay. right now? i'll have an apple.

take a fiber one bar for later. that's 140cal but should fill me up.

if i'm starving when i come back, applesauce or fruit.

then, i must go workout. my splint may not let me lift, but i can still do cardio no excuses.

dinner. hmm. probably going to be invited by the usual crew. i could make a turkey sandwich. fair amount of turkey, one slice of cheese, lettuce and tomato, bit of mustard, and shove it in the panini maker. i never eat the crusts, so call it 120 from the bread, maybe 300 total? then if i insist of dessert or a snack.. i'll force myself to go to amer's to get froyo. that way i have to pay, and i have to leave the building, so i'll have to really want it. and no reese's or chocolate on that froyo, either. original tart with some berries. the end.

please please let me have enough strength and willpower to do this. i think i can. i hope i can. let's try.