give and take.

drank quite a bit this weekend. need to work out lots to get all those nasty toxins and that goddamn acetate out of my body. couldn't yesterday 'cause of work.. nearly fasted all day, save for two chips and a crouton at work, but weakened and got dinner. fish and salad, pretty healthy, and a little bit of pasta, thennn hit the ice cream. then later, grapes! healthy! thenn.. easy mac. and m&ms. but whatever. it's okay. 

already had my oatmeal for today :) yum. going to hopefully not eat 'til after office hours and then head down to yost. 

figured out what i want to say to bf. you forget about me when you're drunk, and it makes me feel like i don't matter, and that i'm not good enough. so that makes me feel like i have to be better to get your attention - which is why i was so desperate to sober up. not that you noticed. and all i want to do is look like one of the alpha phi girls because they're tiny. and maybe if i was prettier and skinnier and just all around better, you wouldn't forget about me. plus then, when you spend all your time just talking to other girls and texting other girls at parties it's like a slap in the face, like, i'm not good enough so you need to talk to them. and it fucking blows.

just so you know.

but, it's his birthday, so i'm not sure if i can.