fourteenth.

Okay, no baby in this belly. Thank you thank you thank you. Never been happier to have such terrible cramps. Also found out I have either strep or tonsillitis. Fabulous, no? So I'm on penicillin for a week. Four of them a day. Plus 600mg of advil basically the same number of times. I really don't like being on pills like this. The only pill I don't mind taking religiously is my birth control I was on antibiotics for over a year for acne in high school and I resented it. Then I was on prozac for the better part of a year, and I hated that too, though for different reasons. Mostly because the doctor never told me one of the side effects was weight gain, so I blame those goddamn pills for most of the pounds I put on last year. Though I know plenty of them in the fall was the freshman fifteen that I refused to believe in, along with forgetting that I wasn't swimming 2.5 hours a day anymore. Anyway, I've gotten sidetracked.

Being sick hopefully will quell my appetite.. My throat hurts so much that I'm going to attempt to stick to soup, etc. Been eating breakfast in the caf past two days..I really do enjoy breakfast. Ate a bit too much, and I binged last night :( but oh well, I did just get my period. So I shall blame that. Can't exercise too much 'cause sickness has got me bogged down and drained of energy, but I think I shall try to get some in later today. Maybe just elliptical or bike rather than running though. Anyway.

Intake.. breakfast this morning was a little bit of eggs, five potato tots, some scrambled tofu, some yogurt with half a banana and a few cheerios, then a chocolate muffin with a bit of peanut butter. yeah..that's alot. whatever. too late night. let's see.. 500cal? may be a bit low but..fuck, I don't know what to call it otherwise. Plus I'm trying to think positive. So now I'm off to have applesauce (50cal) with a tiny bit of cinnamon (boost metabolism, supposedly) before two hours of class. Then I'm done for the day! So then maybe go and work out, shower, then study for a few hours. Sounds good to me.

I know I've said this a million times, but this really is a new beginning. I'm determined this time. I've realized making a strict detailed plan doesn't work for me, and I've realized I can't just go from over 1000cal to fasting for a day. I just can't. What I can do is persevere, take baby steps, and believe in myself. The last part will undoubtedly be the hardest. But I can do this.

Someday I shall be light as a bird. Here's the tattoo I plan on getting: