last night had couple shots and some beer. didn't eat between lunch and around 3.30 when we got jimmy johns. had a turkey tom. ate maybe a third of it. so around 150cal. not too bad.
slept most of today since i went to bed around 7:30 (roommate was very confused when i returned. hah.) but had to get lunch with a friend from high school. she was picking me up so i said it was up to her where we went, and she said she wanted to go somewhere healthy so we end up at panera. panera is not healthy. i shouldve just had my asian sesame chicken salad. or else that and black bean soup. but i didn't. i had half the salad and half the frontega chicken panini. which was yummy. but still. not worth the calories. i feel sick. calculated it online..i didn't eat the wontons in the salad or lots of the bread on the sandwich. the salad was 130. not bad at all. the panini? a whopping 430. it was not tasty enough for that. but i left alot of the bread so im thinking 330. plus 130 is 460. thenn earlier had two jaffa cakes (my last two :( ) which would be another 80cal. plus some clusters w. peanut butter. 100cal. so 640cal for today. and it's not even six thirty. ick. bad news bears. no more food. just alcohol for me. should go work out too. i feel so fatty.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
friday.
11am: 2 gummy vitamins - 15cal.
fuck food.
had to get lunch with zach. guacamole & rice & 1 small beef taco. it was delicious therefore worth it. then a grande ice coffee from starbucks.
so guessing..500cal? too lazy to look it up now and i have to run off to work.
work = five hours on my feet. am i going to eat? pshh. no way :)
fuck food.
had to get lunch with zach. guacamole & rice & 1 small beef taco. it was delicious therefore worth it. then a grande ice coffee from starbucks.
so guessing..500cal? too lazy to look it up now and i have to run off to work.
work = five hours on my feet. am i going to eat? pshh. no way :)
thursday night.
they talked me out of it. don't want to talk about the rest.
started smoking. meh.
didn't drink tonight. probably good.
miss him lots.
didnt eat too much. mum took me to panera. nearly 800cals. guessing lunch was around 250. plus 100cal chips just now. so what, 1150? could've been worse. didn't know my latte and pastry would be so much. i know right? pastry. but it made my mother happy. and she deserves to be happy.
i just wish i could be happy.
started smoking. meh.
didn't drink tonight. probably good.
miss him lots.
didnt eat too much. mum took me to panera. nearly 800cals. guessing lunch was around 250. plus 100cal chips just now. so what, 1150? could've been worse. didn't know my latte and pastry would be so much. i know right? pastry. but it made my mother happy. and she deserves to be happy.
i just wish i could be happy.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
thursday.
i'm leaving. don't know exactly where i'm going. may just show up at the greyhound station tomorrow morning and hop on a bus to nowhere. i just need to get out of here. doubt i'm taking my laptop so don't know when i'll next post.
bye.
bye.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
tuesday.
today i lacked the motivation to go work out. i haven't been to the gym since thursday- haven't had a proper workout since wednesday. must go tomorrow.
been barely eating. thinking about food makes me nauseous. it's not even that i don't want to eat. i just can't. probably first time i've ever had to force myself to eat.
this is so hard.
been barely eating. thinking about food makes me nauseous. it's not even that i don't want to eat. i just can't. probably first time i've ever had to force myself to eat.
this is so hard.
Monday, March 15, 2010
over.
he said it. it's over. he doesn't want to be with me.
this sucks.
i haven't slept since friday night. six hours friday night. two saturday night. maybe five last night. i feel sick. all the time. i haven't been eating because i haven't been hungry. my roommate made me get ice cream with her last night. that helped. she got me cookies and a sandwich earlier. i ate them. went down to the dining hall with friends just now. had tiny bit of cereal and pineapple with rice milk. bit of chocolate cake. wasn't very good. i feel disgustingly full. i feel so sick. i don't know what to do, how to cope.
this sucks.
i haven't slept since friday night. six hours friday night. two saturday night. maybe five last night. i feel sick. all the time. i haven't been eating because i haven't been hungry. my roommate made me get ice cream with her last night. that helped. she got me cookies and a sandwich earlier. i ate them. went down to the dining hall with friends just now. had tiny bit of cereal and pineapple with rice milk. bit of chocolate cake. wasn't very good. i feel disgustingly full. i feel so sick. i don't know what to do, how to cope.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
4.46
my intake's been out of control. didn't work out yesterday. wasn't going to eat today, what with the breakup and whatnot, but hangover made me resort to food. two slices of cold pizza and a brownie. blah.
tired. feel shitty. don't care anymore.
tired. feel shitty. don't care anymore.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
11.
half fage yogurt -50cal
banana -100cal
blueberries -15cal
graham cracker -75cal
vitamins -10cal
total: 250cal.
banana -100cal
blueberries -15cal
graham cracker -75cal
vitamins -10cal
total: 250cal.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
busy day.
breakfast: oatmeal w. skim milk. 200cal. yum
blueberries. 5cal
jaffa cake. 46cal.
total: 250cal.
blueberries. 5cal
jaffa cake. 46cal.
total: 250cal.
Monday, March 8, 2010
onward.
let's pretend this weekend didn't happen. although, hard to considering the MASSIVE BRUISES on my knees. fuck. ah well.
b: -.5 fage greek yogurt (100cal) <--i bought the full fat one accidentally? wtff. gross. ate way less than half, but to be sure.
-5 blueberries (10cal? found different info)
total so far: 110cal.
in other news..back on prozac. really low dose though. hoping it won't make me gain again. ah well. off to class, shit-ton of orgo studying and calc to do. fuckk.
12:15
l: three small pieces of celery -6cal
three slices of carrot -10cal
3.5 kashi triscuit-type things -60cal
1 string cheese -50cal
lunch: 126cal.
total: 236cal.
3:45
l2: 3.5 kashi triscuit -60cal
luna bar -180cal (found it in my bag and i was starving..)
l2: 240cal
total: 476cal
going swimming.
okay, didn't swim as much as i should've, but it felt good. then elliptical for ten min - 125cal. not much but whatever. same amount as lunch. thennn dinner hit.
had some baby spinach leaves, bit of tuna, two baby carrots. then a bit of refried beans and cheese and salsa. no rice even. guessing all that was 250cal or so. then had the cheesecake. 400cal. orzo and cheesy cauliflower. 200cal. some of that gross coconut cream pie. 100cal. making..950cal. in one meal.
that is absolutely disgusting. puts me at a net intake of 1426. fuck me. tried to purge but only got coconut cream shit up. god i hate myself. tomorrow's one year since my suicide attempt. fabulous.
b: -.5 fage greek yogurt (100cal) <--i bought the full fat one accidentally? wtff. gross. ate way less than half, but to be sure.
-5 blueberries (10cal? found different info)
total so far: 110cal.
in other news..back on prozac. really low dose though. hoping it won't make me gain again. ah well. off to class, shit-ton of orgo studying and calc to do. fuckk.
12:15
l: three small pieces of celery -6cal
three slices of carrot -10cal
3.5 kashi triscuit-type things -60cal
1 string cheese -50cal
lunch: 126cal.
total: 236cal.
3:45
l2: 3.5 kashi triscuit -60cal
luna bar -180cal (found it in my bag and i was starving..)
l2: 240cal
total: 476cal
going swimming.
okay, didn't swim as much as i should've, but it felt good. then elliptical for ten min - 125cal. not much but whatever. same amount as lunch. thennn dinner hit.
had some baby spinach leaves, bit of tuna, two baby carrots. then a bit of refried beans and cheese and salsa. no rice even. guessing all that was 250cal or so. then had the cheesecake. 400cal. orzo and cheesy cauliflower. 200cal. some of that gross coconut cream pie. 100cal. making..950cal. in one meal.
that is absolutely disgusting. puts me at a net intake of 1426. fuck me. tried to purge but only got coconut cream shit up. god i hate myself. tomorrow's one year since my suicide attempt. fabulous.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
plan.
tomorrow i have work. giving me some sort of structure. let's plan this shit out.
wake up. 9ish? before ten. eat..some sort of fruit. maybe yogurt, if i'm hungry [but you shouldn't be, you fat pig..] then go straight to the gym and burn at least 600cals. come back here, shower etc, then see bf or m, depending, come back and study, nibble something before work. hopefully move my shit back to my dorm. actually, i can do some of that in the morning. there we go. thenn work til ten. no food at work. then drinks at bf's frat. beer has enough cals that i don't need food.
yes.
wake up. 9ish? before ten. eat..some sort of fruit. maybe yogurt, if i'm hungry [but you shouldn't be, you fat pig..] then go straight to the gym and burn at least 600cals. come back here, shower etc, then see bf or m, depending, come back and study, nibble something before work. hopefully move my shit back to my dorm. actually, i can do some of that in the morning. there we go. thenn work til ten. no food at work. then drinks at bf's frat. beer has enough cals that i don't need food.
yes.
blizzard.
a small reese's blizzard from dairy queen is 530cals. did you know that? i didn't. utnil i ate the whole thing. then looked it up later.
today started off so well. good workout, not much food, saw the bf...though he was acting weird, walked my dog with him,then ate a super small bowl of granola/cheerios with some blueberries, then just chilled for a bit. then, mum gets home and announces that dairy queen opened today. so of course bf wants to go. and i can't say no because he doesn't think i'm eating and mum's suspicious. so i go. and it was delish. told myself i didn't have to finish it..but i did.
dinner was a spinach/black bean/mushroom/bell pepper enchilada thing that mum makes every so often. i know the white flour tortilla isn't all that good for you so i left probably a third of it. but ate some of it for carbs. unneccessary but it was good. had a tiny bit of reduced fat sour cream and some salsa and cucumber with it. yum. and a mug of green tea.
then, decided i wanted to bake cookies. so i did. and nibbled on chocolate chips the whole time, of course, then ate one of the cookies, which turned out MASSIVE. even the second batch which i tried to make smaller, still turned out huge.
i feel like my legs and stomach have turned to pure fat. sticky and jiggly and horrible. because of that blizzard. i don't want to even look at the fat content of that thing. honestly thinking about it makes me feel sick. guess i'll just chug water for a bit then go to bed. then wake up and aim for 600+ at the gym tomorrow.
i was feeling good about myself before that FUCKING blizzard. so disgusting. i hate myself for it now. loathe myself, every essence of my weak-minded, fat-bodied self. OH, and i watched celebrity fit club earlier. one girl on it weighs LESS than me. what the FUCK.
today started off so well. good workout, not much food, saw the bf...though he was acting weird, walked my dog with him,then ate a super small bowl of granola/cheerios with some blueberries, then just chilled for a bit. then, mum gets home and announces that dairy queen opened today. so of course bf wants to go. and i can't say no because he doesn't think i'm eating and mum's suspicious. so i go. and it was delish. told myself i didn't have to finish it..but i did.
dinner was a spinach/black bean/mushroom/bell pepper enchilada thing that mum makes every so often. i know the white flour tortilla isn't all that good for you so i left probably a third of it. but ate some of it for carbs. unneccessary but it was good. had a tiny bit of reduced fat sour cream and some salsa and cucumber with it. yum. and a mug of green tea.
then, decided i wanted to bake cookies. so i did. and nibbled on chocolate chips the whole time, of course, then ate one of the cookies, which turned out MASSIVE. even the second batch which i tried to make smaller, still turned out huge.
i feel like my legs and stomach have turned to pure fat. sticky and jiggly and horrible. because of that blizzard. i don't want to even look at the fat content of that thing. honestly thinking about it makes me feel sick. guess i'll just chug water for a bit then go to bed. then wake up and aim for 600+ at the gym tomorrow.
i was feeling good about myself before that FUCKING blizzard. so disgusting. i hate myself for it now. loathe myself, every essence of my weak-minded, fat-bodied self. OH, and i watched celebrity fit club earlier. one girl on it weighs LESS than me. what the FUCK.
04.
woke up later than i intended, but had a couple of pomegranate seeds and some water as breakfast. meant to eat a small apple but forgot to grab it as i ran out the door.
had that apple when i got back from 60min of cardio at the gym. soo..
55cal apple
50cal seeds
35cal bite of cookie
total:: 140 in, 650 out :)
does anyone else have one of those nike+ things? where it goes in your shoe and hooks up to your ipod..? because i use that even when i run on the treadmill, but it always seems to say i'm working harder than the treadmill says (if that makes sense.) anyone..?
had that apple when i got back from 60min of cardio at the gym. soo..
55cal apple
50cal seeds
35cal bite of cookie
total:: 140 in, 650 out :)
does anyone else have one of those nike+ things? where it goes in your shoe and hooks up to your ipod..? because i use that even when i run on the treadmill, but it always seems to say i'm working harder than the treadmill says (if that makes sense.) anyone..?
aqua.
i want a barbie. i never played with barbie or any kind of dolls when i was little. and now i want one-- to remind me of how thin i should be, and of how fat i am.
today was another failure. i need to stop this. i didn't get out of bed 'til one since i didn't go to bed 'til 5am. then had my gummy vitamins, a fage greek yogurt with blueberries, and one of those goddamn blondie things i made. which i decided i really don't like all that much.
[i wanna try making them again, with half the flour and maybe throw in some cinnamon. goddamn, now i'm craving cinnamon. in the morning, in the morning. maybe if i get up and have a good workout i'll treat myself to a skinny latte. nah, i won't. but i'll have some coffee with cinnamon.]
anyway, also had a cup of that yogi green tea that *supposedly* suppresses appetite. not sure if it did shit, but there we go. then...what else? i sat around, caught up on last night's LOST, then found something else to watch. half-heartedly did some orgo studying. thenn, had a teeny tiny slice of hawaiian pizza that i made last night. it was delicious, so whatever. i fucking love pineapple. so so much. and it was like, a fifth of a 7" pizza. so pretty small. and it had ham and pineapple. both relatively healthy. minimal preservatives. thenn, i had a tiny sliver of mushroom pizza, also that i made, also from last night. still not good though. and a cracker. then for dinner i made an omelette. supposedly egg whites, but one yolk broke and i was too lazy to fish it all out. thenn put some spinach mushrooms tomatoes and a bit of cheese in it. it was deliciousss also. i figure veg and protein..okay-ish. thenn had a piece of bread though :( bah.
thinking about it..that wasn't too much. before dinner i did a halfassed 5min biking and 5min elliptical. haha. boosted my metabolism a tiny bit, at least. thenn when i got back from finally seeing the bf, i had two spoonfuls of ice cream and a bowl of mixed granola and cheerios with some blueberries. well, and a nibble of one of those cakey icky blondies i made. i'm actually pissed as fuck that they turned out so shitty. go look at how good they look here.
anywho. too lazy to add up calories. plus i feel guilty for not working out. oh, last night at work had some milky coffee drink thing. and half a slice of pepperoni pizza. i picked out most of the pepperoni though. bah.
tomorrow will be a better day. tomorrow i will work out and burn a minimum of 500 calories. ABSOLUTE MINIMUM.
today was another failure. i need to stop this. i didn't get out of bed 'til one since i didn't go to bed 'til 5am. then had my gummy vitamins, a fage greek yogurt with blueberries, and one of those goddamn blondie things i made. which i decided i really don't like all that much.
[i wanna try making them again, with half the flour and maybe throw in some cinnamon. goddamn, now i'm craving cinnamon. in the morning, in the morning. maybe if i get up and have a good workout i'll treat myself to a skinny latte. nah, i won't. but i'll have some coffee with cinnamon.]
anyway, also had a cup of that yogi green tea that *supposedly* suppresses appetite. not sure if it did shit, but there we go. then...what else? i sat around, caught up on last night's LOST, then found something else to watch. half-heartedly did some orgo studying. thenn, had a teeny tiny slice of hawaiian pizza that i made last night. it was delicious, so whatever. i fucking love pineapple. so so much. and it was like, a fifth of a 7" pizza. so pretty small. and it had ham and pineapple. both relatively healthy. minimal preservatives. thenn, i had a tiny sliver of mushroom pizza, also that i made, also from last night. still not good though. and a cracker. then for dinner i made an omelette. supposedly egg whites, but one yolk broke and i was too lazy to fish it all out. thenn put some spinach mushrooms tomatoes and a bit of cheese in it. it was deliciousss also. i figure veg and protein..okay-ish. thenn had a piece of bread though :( bah.
thinking about it..that wasn't too much. before dinner i did a halfassed 5min biking and 5min elliptical. haha. boosted my metabolism a tiny bit, at least. thenn when i got back from finally seeing the bf, i had two spoonfuls of ice cream and a bowl of mixed granola and cheerios with some blueberries. well, and a nibble of one of those cakey icky blondies i made. i'm actually pissed as fuck that they turned out so shitty. go look at how good they look here.
anywho. too lazy to add up calories. plus i feel guilty for not working out. oh, last night at work had some milky coffee drink thing. and half a slice of pepperoni pizza. i picked out most of the pepperoni though. bah.
tomorrow will be a better day. tomorrow i will work out and burn a minimum of 500 calories. ABSOLUTE MINIMUM.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
..
not eating makes me feel like shit. i've never had so much anger and frustration and just...hate. built up inside me. and i don't know how to deal with it. i'm hungry. but i'm scared to eat. once i start i can't stop.
help me.
help me.
crash and burn.
worst part about being home? mum keeps making my favorite foods, which i CANNOT say no to. :(
though i suppose i didn't eat too much. guessing the homemade pizza was around 400cal. maybe 500. plus some salad, with balsamic vinegar. plus three crackers. 75cal. then a banana chocolate chip blondie. 175cal. plus the choc chips i nibbled on while baking them. goddamn.
work...half a piece of leftover pizza..150cal. half slice of chipati bread..50cal.
so let's see. 950cal. plus the 325 from earlier in the day... oh plus an apple. 50cal. equals...
1325.
blech. ran two miles and ellipticalled a bit. was too achey to do too much though. burned 450cal at the gym. guess that makes today an overall 875. which is double what it should be. more than double.
but, tonight was my last tuesday 10-4am shift. thank god.
sleeping in tomorrow, then having yogurt for breakfast. drinking tea throughout the day - that yogi blueberry green tea stuff. and FRUIT. one blondie tomorrow night as a treat if i've done well. and 1hour goal for cardio. maybe do some light weights to tone.
fucking fatass, time to shape up.
though i suppose i didn't eat too much. guessing the homemade pizza was around 400cal. maybe 500. plus some salad, with balsamic vinegar. plus three crackers. 75cal. then a banana chocolate chip blondie. 175cal. plus the choc chips i nibbled on while baking them. goddamn.
work...half a piece of leftover pizza..150cal. half slice of chipati bread..50cal.
so let's see. 950cal. plus the 325 from earlier in the day... oh plus an apple. 50cal. equals...
1325.
blech. ran two miles and ellipticalled a bit. was too achey to do too much though. burned 450cal at the gym. guess that makes today an overall 875. which is double what it should be. more than double.
but, tonight was my last tuesday 10-4am shift. thank god.
sleeping in tomorrow, then having yogurt for breakfast. drinking tea throughout the day - that yogi blueberry green tea stuff. and FRUIT. one blondie tomorrow night as a treat if i've done well. and 1hour goal for cardio. maybe do some light weights to tone.
fucking fatass, time to shape up.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
tuesday.
goal for today is just to do better than yesterday work 10pm-4am so that'll be lots of moving about, burning calories. and if i really get hungry, i can get celery and carrots. no breadsticks.
50cal breakfast; 1/4 pink grapefruit ~ 25cal
gummy vitamins ~ 25cal
205cal lunch; ritz crackers ~ 80cal
tuna salad ~ 45cal
celery ~ 5cal
red grapes ~ 25cal
dark chocolate mingle ~ 50cal
70cal pre-workout snack; .5 strawberry fiber one bar ~ 70cal
total; 325cal.
50cal breakfast; 1/4 pink grapefruit ~ 25cal
gummy vitamins ~ 25cal
205cal lunch; ritz crackers ~ 80cal
tuna salad ~ 45cal
celery ~ 5cal
red grapes ~ 25cal
dark chocolate mingle ~ 50cal
70cal pre-workout snack; .5 strawberry fiber one bar ~ 70cal
total; 325cal.
Monday, March 1, 2010
hmmph.
still haven't pooped. don't care whether or not you care, I GODDAMN CARE.
anywho.
B: light vanilla yogurt, granola, oats, banana ~ 210cal
--400cal elliptical/150cal treadmill = 550cals burned
**doc appt, he said i'm at a healthy weight, that i should be between 120 and 126. pshh. f that.
L: ACV water (did it help? don't know. i felt full..?)
moe's...naked triple lindy junior ~ 164cal
..but, i ate some chips. ~ 100cal.
total...264cal
snack/grazing: red grapes (30cal), 2 crackers (15cal each)
D: cod cooked in skim milk with chive cream cheese (200), mushrooms, broccoli(50), and tomatoes. with a small piece of multigrain toast, with a little olivio spread (70).
unnecessary binge: bowl of granola with skim milk and blueberries ~ 200cal
one chocolate ~ 50cal
mixed dried fruit/chocolate chips ~ 75cal
cracker with cheese ~ 75cal
so let's see. time to add. 474 60 320 400 = 1254. wowowow. fail, since i wanted to be near 700. goddamn. and i can't even blame moes, i had a fucking 400cal binge. damnitt.
but, i burned 550. so 1254-550=704. hmm. success? no.
not good enough.
anywho.
B: light vanilla yogurt, granola, oats, banana ~ 210cal
--400cal elliptical/150cal treadmill = 550cals burned
**doc appt, he said i'm at a healthy weight, that i should be between 120 and 126. pshh. f that.
L: ACV water (did it help? don't know. i felt full..?)
moe's...naked triple lindy junior ~ 164cal
..but, i ate some chips. ~ 100cal.
total...264cal
snack/grazing: red grapes (30cal), 2 crackers (15cal each)
D: cod cooked in skim milk with chive cream cheese (200), mushrooms, broccoli(50), and tomatoes. with a small piece of multigrain toast, with a little olivio spread (70).
unnecessary binge: bowl of granola with skim milk and blueberries ~ 200cal
one chocolate ~ 50cal
mixed dried fruit/chocolate chips ~ 75cal
cracker with cheese ~ 75cal
so let's see. time to add. 474 60 320 400 = 1254. wowowow. fail, since i wanted to be near 700. goddamn. and i can't even blame moes, i had a fucking 400cal binge. damnitt.
but, i burned 550. so 1254-550=704. hmm. success? no.
not good enough.
quick.
just got back from the gym. need a quick shower then doc appt. bathroom scales say 124, don't think that's right. see what it says at the doctors.
210cal breakfast...banana, low fat yogurt, and a bit of dry oatmeal.
--
alright, official weight....126lbs. exactly 9stone. not thrilled about it, but i can definitely get down to 124 by march 9th. that's eight days from now.
not gonna lie, i suck at restricting. right now i'm watching real housewives and looking at thinspo and my tummy's still grumbling. need to get out of the house. which hmm, i need to get going soon hah. bank then visiting my old high school. burned 550cal at the gym, which felt good. just don't want to ruin it. going to go early tomorrow morning too, get my metabolism up first thing.
apparently i need 2100cal/day, according to this calc thing online. another said around 1800. let's assume i need 1900 (somewhat of a middle point) to maintain my current weight. 3500cal to every pound of fat. i want to lose two pounds in basically a week. so i should aim for an overall restriction of 1000cal everyday. that can come from either exercise or diet. so right now let's say i'm at -340cal right now. but then again my intake has just been 210. soo, if i restrict by 1000, that means my overall intake today can be 900, give or take. and if i go over a little, it's okay, because of that workout earlier. right? not sure i'm making sense. off to mix some acv water to drink before i get dragged to moe's. already figured out what i'm having.
i used to get: a tofu homewrecker over 1000cal (i forget the exact.)
-tofu
-pinto beans
-rice
-cheese
-sour cream
-guacamole
-lettuce
-tomatoes
-and chips.
today i shall have a junior triple lindy- around 330cal, unless i do it naked.
-tofu, pinto beans, rice, lettuce, tomatoes, and guacamole. i could lower it by like 75cal if i got rid of the guac but..avocados have healthy fats in them. and then later i can think about how i already had a fatty banana and fatty guac so i don't need chocolate. deal? deal. i'm excited.
also, i can tell mum i ate a TON and be excused from eating too much at dinner !
i'm off. think thin!
210cal breakfast...banana, low fat yogurt, and a bit of dry oatmeal.
--
alright, official weight....126lbs. exactly 9stone. not thrilled about it, but i can definitely get down to 124 by march 9th. that's eight days from now.
not gonna lie, i suck at restricting. right now i'm watching real housewives and looking at thinspo and my tummy's still grumbling. need to get out of the house. which hmm, i need to get going soon hah. bank then visiting my old high school. burned 550cal at the gym, which felt good. just don't want to ruin it. going to go early tomorrow morning too, get my metabolism up first thing.
apparently i need 2100cal/day, according to this calc thing online. another said around 1800. let's assume i need 1900 (somewhat of a middle point) to maintain my current weight. 3500cal to every pound of fat. i want to lose two pounds in basically a week. so i should aim for an overall restriction of 1000cal everyday. that can come from either exercise or diet. so right now let's say i'm at -340cal right now. but then again my intake has just been 210. soo, if i restrict by 1000, that means my overall intake today can be 900, give or take. and if i go over a little, it's okay, because of that workout earlier. right? not sure i'm making sense. off to mix some acv water to drink before i get dragged to moe's. already figured out what i'm having.
i used to get: a tofu homewrecker over 1000cal (i forget the exact.)
-tofu
-pinto beans
-rice
-cheese
-sour cream
-guacamole
-lettuce
-tomatoes
-and chips.
today i shall have a junior triple lindy- around 330cal, unless i do it naked.
-tofu, pinto beans, rice, lettuce, tomatoes, and guacamole. i could lower it by like 75cal if i got rid of the guac but..avocados have healthy fats in them. and then later i can think about how i already had a fatty banana and fatty guac so i don't need chocolate. deal? deal. i'm excited.
also, i can tell mum i ate a TON and be excused from eating too much at dinner !
i'm off. think thin!
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