beautiful blogger?

woahhh. woah woah woah, Sunflowerr, whhhaaatt? Inspirational? Me? That alone has given me the motivation I needed to get up early for that run tomorrow morning. And to not eat after it!

Well, I suppose I'll start with seven things about me..

1. I just ate a granola bar and so feel like an absolute failure. Sad face.

2. Sometimes I can't get myself to accept how many calories are in something, even when I can see the number in front of me - I just seem to have this mental block on it and it doesn't register. It lets me just ignore the fact that it's horrible for me. And I hate it. This usually happens with like, chocolate and peanut butter and such. Or those dining hall cookies at college. OH man oh man.

3. Instead of coming home after working on stats at the library, I drove around in a huge circle, twice, contemplated driving off a bridge, then sat on a curb with a friend and cried while he talked. All in all rather random. 

4. Rob's back from the Bahamas and I absolutely hate it. I'm supposed to get lunch with him tomorrow. He wants to go to noodles and co, of course. I'm having a small med salad (150cal) with chicken (150cal?) and we're going around noon. Plenty of time to burn off the rest of those calories. 

5. My room is a total mess and I had to move a pile of clothes the size of an adult cow off my bed in order to get into it tonight. Ugh. Yet, of course, no energy or motivation to do anything about it. None of those clothes look good on my whale-sized body.

6. I go to a Big Ten school. One of the best in the country. I almost failed out my first semester. I'm half waiting for a letter in the mail to tell me I've lost my national merit scholarship. Second semester I got a B- in honors calc 3. And I was ECSTATIC. Which makes me hate myself more. I don't get B's. Ever. I'm so fucking stupid.

7. Saturday I ran headfirst into a wall at a club, trying to evade a creepy guy who had been buying my friend and I drinks. Should've seen it coming that he was going to try and leave with us, I guess. Ah well, you live and you learn. It made for a good story at work the next day.

Those were totally uninteresting. Anywho. Now I have to award it to 7 more people. I realize that half of you are probably like, who's that?, but I always read even if I don't comment..promise:)

1. Sunflowerr - I know this is like your millionth one, but..I couldn't not give it to you. I hope you're still on for that race to 120!! Your posts inspire and motivate me like you wouldn't believe. :)

2. Stick Thin - I love the thinspo you post, and the tshirts you make, and how pretty you are, and how inspirational your posts are. I like to ramble. Plus I love the picture at the top of your blog, so so much.

3. 1:10am - The way you write is lovely and I can't help but love your attitude. The links on your blog are the best sites everr.

4. Pretty Wreck - I love how straight-forward you are and how detailed all your goals etc are. So so inspiring. Also, your weight loss ticker astounds me everrry time I see it. WOAH GIRL.

5. Katieeeee - Your matter-of-fact and specific daily food intake log inspires me and makes me put DOWN that bag of almonds I was going to snack on nearly everytime. The thinspo you post is amazingg, someday we'll be just like those beautiful skinnies.

6. Anna.Maria - Love love love reading anything you write. You always have plenty of exclamation points and justt put a smile on my face.

andd..7. zettte - One of the first bloggers I started following way back when. You're going through alot right now, but I know you'll pull through. You inspire me to take, well, baby steps - just one day at a time and we'll win in the end. :)

I'm exhausted. Ate alot today, including Jimmy Johns, ugh, but also went for a run and walked around downtown for a while. Should be okay. Going for a run tomorrow, too. Need to make it a daily habit:)

xo.