scales don't lie.

so. decided i need to buy scales. because i haven't weighed myself in like a week so i don't really know if what i'm doing is working or not. so that's on my to-do list over thanksgiving break. with the exception of the disgusting amount of food i shoveled into my face today, i'm pretty sure i've lost a bit. i can see my collarbone more now. and my hip bones. ohh how i've missed them. i think my legs are getting thinner too. (: other good thing is the running i've been doing is making my legs stronger. and more toned, hopefully. didn't work out today or yesterday so i feel pretty crap about that. but ah well. can't do everything, i guess. today was such a failure kinda day. but that's okay. as long as they don't happen often, i'm good. i wanted to purge so badly earlier but i couldn't i legit just couldn't get myself to do that. any tips? =/

also, i had to get ice cream at dinner, since it's finally not disgusting blue and yellow anymore. and i went down to eat by myself so i ate so fucking much since there was no one there to see. then again, i did the same at lunch. so whatever. i dunno.

i'm at the library pretending i'm actually getting work done. i can't concentrate for the life of me though. and i feel so so sick. plus there are these dumb sorority girls a table over from me and i legitimately want to punch one of them in the face, right now. as well as the girl over in the corner whose hair is legit white. what?! white. yeah. it looks gross too, esp as a contrast with her orange fake tan. god i'm a bitch when i'm tired, but i don't care. i'm absolutely exhausted and i don't know why. i woke up so much last night. blahh.

gonna go continue being disgusted with myself in peace. considering going to buy diet pills tomorrow. either those or laxatives. i'm a bit scared though to be honest. any advice? i hate myself so much for all the food that's inside me right now. but i can't do that again because i'm going home in two days. fuck !